Category Archives: KP is a twat

Australia win NatWest ODI series 2-0

I’ve been slack. Sorry. It’s been so long since I blogged my own blog had disappeared from my history.

So, the cricket was on TV last night, in between Wimbledon. It was great to see the Aussies thrash the Poms 2-0. Although I’m not sure why the ICC insist on scheduling 2 match series.  (This is why I love blogging. Orwellian modifications of the truth? Sure, why not? Truth is relative, anyhow.)

But the real truth is I’m a bit worried. I’m not sure I’d survive another Ashes lost, especially a home one. I’m telling myself that we were just rusty for the first three (non-existent) ODIs, but how much of the blame can be attributed to the fact that we suck??

All is not lost though. Shaun Tait’s first spell. Wow. Well, actually, I didn’t see it, cos Channel 9 thought we might want to watch whatsherface win some other sport thing. They were wrong. Michael Holding said it was fast though, and in Mikey Holding I trust. Mainly because I luuuuurve the way he says Ricky Ponting. Sure, his second and third spells dropped off in pace. But fear not, I have a plan to harness the raw, primal speed machine that is Shaun Tait. We should just invent a shorter form of cricket. I know, crazy right? Cos 50 overs is so short already. But, bear with me. If each bowler bowled, I don’t know, say 4 overs each then The Wild Thing might manage to maintain his pace. I guess for now I’ll just have to be content with 161.1kph balls and flying stumps…

Well nurdled Colly...

Another thing I was thrilled to see was Australia’s use of the batting powerplay. Many a time I have shouted at the TV for teams to take the powerplay earlier, but they never listened before. See what happens when you listen to me, Mussey? Good things happen. It really annoys me to see the powerplay wasted. Before the powerplay, you count on heaps of runs in the last 10 overs, provided you have wickets in hand. That hasn’t changed. In fact, if you call the powerplay prior to the last 10, and the strike bowlers are bought back, then that’s 5 overs of strike bowling that can’t be bowled in the last 10. I know that wickets often fall in batting powerplays, but I think that’s just because of stupid batting. Michael Holding agrees, so end of argument. Used correctly, the batting powerplay can  change the momentum of a game, as it did last night, and that’s what I love about 50 over cricket, there’s time for strategy and nuances and momentum. Viva la ODIs!!

But the best thing about the whole match was KP’s “I’m in pain face”. Hilarious. Almost as good as his “I’m a twat face’…

AKA "I'm a twat"

Oh, yeah, 143 days, bitches

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Filed under KP is a twat, Rewriting the Truth, We'd better win back the Ashes